Coach’s journal · Conversations & trust
A place to begin
Agree the purpose, time and two or three questions in advance. Distinguish a conversation about work experience, growth or how someone is doing. Leave room for the person’s agenda and for understanding, rather than requiring every meeting to produce an action.
One meeting can hold different expectations
You want a progress update; your colleague wants to discuss their future role. Or growth is on your agenda while an immediate obstacle feels more urgent to them. Name the purpose before meeting.
Work experience, growth and a check-in about changing circumstances are different starting points, not a ranking of better conversations. Ask what is needed now.
Offer thinking time, not homework
An unexpected “Can we talk?” may create concern. Sharing the purpose and a few questions gives thinking time. Invite topics the person would like to bring as well.
You might explain that you want to understand what is working, what is difficult and what support could help. Make clear that polished answers are not expected.
Prepare your attention too
Review promises from the previous conversation and a specific contribution you appreciated. Can you put aside notifications and other work? Time offered and attention experienced are not always the same.
Choose one familiar response to reduce: immediate advice, a long story about yourself or comparisons. Prepare a sentence that helps you return to listening.
Leave space for closing and follow-through
Ask how the conversation was for the person. Not every 1on1 needs a solution. If you promise support, agree when you will act and return.
Adapt timing to the team. HR can examine preparation and follow-through time alongside meeting frequency, and whether the conversation has become another reporting task.
Questions about this topic
How many questions should I prepare?
Two or three relevant questions can offer a starting point. Stay with the answers rather than completing a long list.
Must work and growth be separate meetings?
Not always. Clarifying purpose helps reveal whether urgent updates repeatedly displace growth conversations.
Does each 1on1 need an action item?
No. Feeling understood can matter in itself. Follow through on any support you do promise.